Thank God I am Me

What a good life I live in. Now I realize how much I grouch, how less I be grateful. Now that there is something really hits my deepest heart. It was Having a chance to face the truest priceless small talk with her. It was the most memorable thing I've experienced lately.  It suddenly wakes me up and I can finally open my eyes and say "my life is worthy and no one can define it at most appropriate way except me."

I start to figure things out which one is a distraction and which one is a trigger. Why can't I aware at an early age? If my head was not filled with the wrong presumption probably I noticed it better and earlier. Where on earth was my existence the whole time? After all this damned time passed, and again just because that valuable small talk, wait... if I said it is valuable small talk I hope you understand It is not like common small talk like usual. You know, the same shit such as nonsense conversation which you wish you can avoid. meanwhile it was filled with a gem of knowledge I have never seen or even heard before.

how struggles become a really great story if I can find a way to see it in another angle. What a good life I live in, how these detailed habits such as reading, writing, listening more can properly shape my self. Particularly my mind to be more understanding at each event in my life and thoroughly comprehend its value. And I will finally be able to genuinely perceive every damn person on this earth has its own value which I can not deny. What can I say? Thank God I am Me.

I used to be too hard on my self, no doubt sets the highest goal and seem rigid and have no fun at all. Cause when it comes to time to actually play, I tend to be a boring human being and keep on silent thinking about my future which was absolutely tiring. but now I guess I have been better. I still have plans and set goals but not too strict until I forgot how to live my life. Precedingly, what actually destroyed my own self was my personality. I tend to be rigid at every stuff until it becomes boomerang and breaks me. No, I won't live that kind of life anymore. I have to be grateful from the smallest thing and I believe when it comes to a big thing I will not freak out or even ruin things. Instead, I will be thankful.

Thanks for people who come to my life and the one who in a particular way influencing me and giving a good impact on me, I extremely appreciate you, Thank you. It helps me to discover how I don't know accurately about my self. Yet thinking about it makes me realize how stronger I am than it seems, how braver I am than I expected, and how much more reliable I am than I believed. I feel like I have no time to compare myself to others anymore because I find no good side on doing that. Exceptionally, it gives me one higher level of hating on myself. The more you compare the more you feel suck. It can't be denied that it increases your bad perception of yourself.

Blaming yourself on all of those catastrophes which happen to you is such a wrong way of thinking. Though it seems I frequently do that too. Of course, I have to decrease it even though I know it is a long process to go. Sometimes we even feel like just stuck and do not seem to move, and we are unbearably stressed and messed up and guess what? The most thing we'd commonly do in this phase was undeniably persecuted ourselves to die, whether mentally or even physically. Please dear future me or anyone else out there, don't do that. It is just a way to torture  yourself without you even noticed and you trully has  no consciousness.

Listen, guys, what is the best to do is do not ever think about it again! Not ever! You have no idea how many people are there who actually counting on you! Keep your head up! Life is a mess but do not ever think you are a mess, NO! we are all saviour in our own way!